Who doesn’t want to be loved? I know I do. Which, at least in part, is why I found myself so enamoured with a theory of Michael Bungay Stanier (Author of ‘The Coaching Habit’). Based on observations in neuroscience highlighting the four main drivers our brains use to keep us safe, Bungay Stanier sites that our brains are programmed to be pessimistic, with these four questions permanently cycling through our minds as often as five times a second during every social interaction. Remaining mindful of these drivers when interacting with others, he suggests, will help you become that much more engaging and lovable.
But this article’s not about making people love you (although if that’s what you take from it, then no love lost there). Rather, if Brands aim to humanise themselves - to cultivate trust and loyalty - then just like humans, they too must be in pursuit of love.
So, can we apply the same theory - an appreciation for the same four fundamental questions the mind uses to keep us safe - to make a brand more lovable? Can we apply the same concepts to create a brand that is inviting and engaging because it actively seeks to bypass those mental triggers that would otherwise hold people back?
Like all good theories, Bungay Stanier offers an acronym, and as acronyms go, I think it’s a cracker!
T E R A
Tribe
Are you with me or against me? Are you on my side?
Expectancy
Do I know what’s about to happen, or not?
Rank
Are you more or less important than me?
Autonomy
Am I making my own choices right now? Am I in control or am I being manipulated?
The theory proposes that, if you allay a mind of these fears, then it will happily engage. As an individual, if I want someone to be drawn to me, and ultimately fall in love with me, then I first have to acknowledge and mitigate these four concerns. So it is for Brands; create reassurance around these anxieties, and you’ll drive engagement and, in time, a love for your brand.
Firstly then, creating that sense of ‘Tribe’.
How can you be more inviting? How can you reassure your audience that you’re on their side; that you’ll figure out a way forward together, as part of the same tribe? Can you remove any psychological barriers that are making them feel distant or disconnected? That might be something very physical (an uninviting space or display) or it could be something more literal, such as identifying common likes and dislikes within your creative. Regardless, if you commit to developing a sense of support in a community that you’re all part of, it’s here that the real work on ‘resonance’ can be done.
Next up, limit surprises.
Signaling what is about to happen before it does creates a palpable relief from fear of the unexpected. It is perhaps a little base, but I think we can all recall a moment, where we thought we’d read the signals and so leant in to bestow our affections, only to find this was not what was expected at all. Hopefully, later on in life we learn from our mistakes, make our intentions more obvious, and then follow through once we’ve correctly read the signs that the engagement is welcome. How can you make the experience of interacting with your brand both delightful, but equally comfortable and welcome? Please don’t read ‘boring’. Equally, this doesn’t mean you have to remove the excitement that comes from creating anticipation. I just mean that there needs to be constant, appropriate signalling and priming of the audience so that each interaction comfortably flows on to the next, without the sudden jolt of unexpected events; the right level of detail to create a sense of safety and control. Creating obvious and delightful steps along the customer journey can help to welcome customers in, gradually enveloping them in a safe and enjoyable space, progressively drawing them towards your brand and all that it stands for.
"Creating obvious and delightful steps along the customer journey can help to welcome customers in, gradually enveloping them in a safe and enjoyable space,..."
Clearly then, expectation and tribe are interlinked. Helping people get a sense of belonging invariably leads to receiving permission, and that relationship is cyclically virtuous, with each expected, and thus permitted interaction strengthening the relationship.
Rank sounds so rigid and formal, but what we’re dealing with here is ‘relative importance’; there’s something immensely reassuring and relaxing about finding yourself on a level playing field with someone. The sense of connection that comes from being reassured that neither of you is above the other. You’re both of equal importance’. Knowing where we’re at (sensing an attribution of importance or feeling less important than the other individual) helps us understand how much power we can give away, or how much we need to assert to find ourselves on a level playing field. The complexity here for brands, and ultimately for people too, is that the level playing field we seek is not with the individual as they present themselves, but rather who they aspire to be, and I’m afraid that position isn’t always clear. Fortunately though, if you’re truly committed to knowing your tribe, it will become clear over time.
Finally, Autonomy. How can you extend the sense that people have a say in the way they engage with your brand? That their thoughts are valid and that they can make decisions and direct the action. There’s something very attractive about offering up, or empowering another by cultivating their sense of autonomy in the moment. Place your target audience in the driving seat. Empower them to engage. Give them the freedom to shape their own brand experience with you. Give them choice, without confusion. Give them a say, and make sure they feel heard.
So, to my mind, the same four anxieties align beautifully as guiding principles for developing brand love, but please don’t see this as some manipulative, short-term trick. Just like the pursuit of love on a one to one basis, the game of brand love has to be underscored with authenticity. It’s ok to want someone to love you, but you’ve got to love them back too, consistently as the days pass.
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