I felt a flush of excitement when I realised I’d arrived at the component of encouragement; ‘encouraged’, you might say. It seems to tie so many of the other components together. However, I’m then left wondering; what’s new here? What addition, or new dimension does Encouragement have to offer us in cultivating the finest thinking environment for one another?
I know we’re not quite there yet, with Place, Information and Incisive Questions to go, but now just feels right to me, given the interconnectedness of the components, to offer a quick summary. A ‘series recap’ if you will. Looking at the past six, allow me to offer you my own single sentence for each and a bastardisation of the wisdom the Time to Think components have to offer. Firstly Attention; our promise not to interrupt as we apply our minds to demonstrating unwavering interest in where another’s thinking might go. Then Equality; as thinking beings, we’re all of equal importance, so let’s show it! And Ease; the necessary internal calmness that enables us to truly be there with others in the moment. Moving on to Appreciation; because if we call out the good, it brings out the best in people. Meanwhile, we must bring our whole selves as sensing, thinking, feeling beings, so let’s not leave out our Feelings, offering them the platform they deserve. Finally, let’s enjoy the rich learning in recognising our inherent Difference and the unique perspectives that brings.
So, there you have it; the first six of the ten components, one sentence each. How does Encouragement sit amongst these? Such has become the tradition in these pieces, let’s start with the behavioural guidance offered by the Time to Think community:
Encouragement: Giving courage to go to the unexplored edge of our thinking by ceasing competition as thinkers.
To me, it feels like an amplifier for all that came before, and a call to action to boot. To offer appreciation is always encouraging. In ceasing competition as thinkers, we are invariably treating each other as equals, and the sentiment of Attention - taking a keen interest in where the thinker will go next - is also an act of encouragement. Likewise for feelings and ease. Without them, it’s impossible for us to bring our whole selves to the conversation and so encourage others to think at their best. So Encouragement is laced throughout the other components and foundational to the process of enabling great thinking, but it clearly offers something more. Given that we only grow when we stretch ourselves, being helped to take our thinking to the unexplored edge feels like a unique and essential element. Perhaps even the essence of fresh thinking, and what’s more, it has to be done together.
But why does it take courage to do this? It’s just thinking, right? Well, we do often seem to limit ourselves. Sometimes our brains lead us to think a certain way in order to protect us from wrongly assumed dangers and risks. Courage breaks that programme. Bending and even breaking the rules our minds have set up to keep us comfortable and safe, courage drives us to think further and deeper, pushing the fold. Through encouragement, our restrictive sense of anxiety that attempts to keep us safe transitions to a renewed feeling of excitement. Pessimism shifts to optimism and our curiosity is unleashed. Rarely do we manage this shift alone. It takes the encouragement of others to help us make the leap. All rather heart-warming I think, and a reminder that we are at our core, social beings, working together as we chip away at this bizarre preoccupation we all call ‘life’.
Through encouragement, our restrictive sense of anxiety that attempts to keep us safe transitions to a renewed feeling of excitement.
But sadly, we don’t always encourage each other. More often than not we find ourselves competing, and that’s entirely understandable. We listen to respond, often to prove our point, because we have a strong sense of self, an ego if you will, and whilst ego gets a bad rap all too often, it feels like a fundamental part of how we function. At our core is a sense of self around which we wrap all our thinking, and within our sense of self, a natural and necessary tension exists around how we hold on to ideas; a tension that plays out our whole lives. Stretching from self-doubt to arrogance, we find ourselves sliding up and down the scale, affected by the environment around us, and the balance of chemicals within us.
The interesting thing about both self doubt and arrogance though, is that they both come from the same position of ‘self’, such is the way with ego I suppose. But what if we were to take a little courage, step back, and look at this through the lens of ‘other’, relinquishing any ownership of the idea in the first place. As I write these words, I’m aware that I’m drawing dangerously close to extolling the Buddhist philosophy that the self is an illusion, and that we are all part of the same flow of conscious experience. Too much? OK, let’s soften that a little then. What if we simply accepted that no idea or thought exists in of itself, and must have been inspired by thoughts and ideas that came before it, such is the nature of causality.
no idea or thought exists in of itself, and must have been inspired by thoughts and ideas that came before it
If we drop the ownership concept driven by ego and our idea of self, we can instead recognise that these ideas - this thinking that is going on - is happening as a result of interactions with others. Softening it yet further, and putting it more simply, good ideas come from the sharing of ideas. We build on each other, infinitely. Building is the key term here, as opposed to competing. Instead of meeting one idea with another, devised as a counter or ‘no, but’, far better that we build on ideas with a ‘yes, and’ response. That feels like a far more open and innovative space. The kind of space where we could think better, together. Given the right amount of encouragement, we can all think boldly together provided we acknowledge the ideas we’re having are not really our own, but shared. Abandoning any competition between us ensures we do not abandon our bold thinking in the moment. Rather, it is our sharing of the ideas in the moment, and our encouragement for others to go deeper, that really takes us to the unexplored edge of our thinking together.
You can tell the moment where this slips between two people. Statements like, “Yeah, sorry, that’s a crazy idea. What was I thinking? Duh!”. Unfortunately, self-doubt has crept in here. However, if we remove the idea that we’re thinking it alone, then we will be all the more compelled to keep going, because the thinking was something we did together. There’s an inherent value multiplier in co-creation. “Yes, that’s a crazy idea that we’ve created. Perhaps if we keep going, and keep thinking, we can take it somewhere really exciting.” Instead of self-confidence to combat self-doubt, we need to try a little compassion and, dare I say it (for fear of inducing a brief wretch from the more emotionally stunted amongst you), love. To love our ideas because they’re not really our ideas, but something we’ve co-created with whoever is in front of us and those that came before us throughout our lives.
This co-creation is constant and inseparable from reality. We do not exist in a vacuum, and cannot disconnect our thoughts from those of others around us. If we were to exist in a vacuum, we’d swiftly go mad. We need one another to keep going. We need each other for the love and encouragement we can offer. So, walk away from ‘better than’. Do away with ‘worse than’. Recognise that we’re all in this together. Indeed, ‘together’ is what encouragement is all about.
So let’s keep thinking better, together - we’ve got this!
With simple structures and a little encouragement, your meetings can be faster & more innovative, with teams feeling valued, motivated and engaged Book a free 30-minute session today to learn how
Comments